We all know that whenever you see a Hobo, there will always be some little monster lurking nearby—though you might not be able to tell it from its owner by smell, face, or piss stains.

A Crypto Hobo is no exception: roaming along the blockchain and scrounging up crumbs of ether from the floor is far more enjoyable in the company of their PetPartners, real fantastic beasts that would make even English woman writers blush. So forget about unicorns. You’re homeless, you’re ugly, and your pet is a Battleshit.